How To Parent Your Children In Love

All parents, including soon-to-be ones, want to birth nations and bring up the younger generation in whatever path they have chosen to go. 

It is important that parents learn how to actually parent these children the right way, according to God’s perfect design.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3, shows parents how to truly truly love their children. Parenting these days has been taken with levity. Many parents are not deliberate about raising their children. 

They see it as nothing. Many parents believe that as long as they can, with the help of God, bring forth children into the world,  there’s nothing more to it afterwards. 

To nurture the gift of God in the right way truly requires a lot. It requires much more than being a channel through which these children are brought to the world. 

It is important that we partner with God in the fulfillment of this ministry. Alright, I know many people don’t believe that parenting the seed of God is a ministry on its own. Well, it is! 

God has given us the ministry of reconciliation: to go into the world and make disciples for Him. The right understanding of this will make us realize that our evangelical ministry ought to start in our various homes, bringing up these children in the way of the Lord.

For these children to be brought up this way, they have to be brought up in an atmosphere of Love. Not so many things thrive in an atmosphere void of love. Nothing truly grows in a harsh environment, and this includes children, these blessed, beautiful creatures who come into the world as babies. 

God owns them and we are caretakers. We are to take care of them for the Father God because we will also give an account of all He has placed in our care. 

Taking care of God’s children requires doing it His own way and deliberately loving them the way God loves us. We cannot do this without looking into His word to learn how it is done and this is the reason for considering  1 Corinthians 13. 

From my study of that passage (1 Corinthians 13), with emphasis on verses 1-3, I realized a couple of truths  I would love to share.

The first is the understanding from verse 1 that there is such a thing as an expression of love. I have heard a lot of people say, “Please, let me express myself; I have the right to express myself.” True, we all have the right to express ourselves, but Scripture says here that we express ourselves in love. 

This shows that there is a particular way we have been instructed to express ourselves, and this should be in love. In other words, if you are to express yourself to anyone, including your children, do it in love. 

If you are to react about something your children did, let this reaction be in love. Do not spank your children as you feel at the time. Deliberately determine within you that your expression even towards disciplining them will be in love. 

Like a dear one would say, “there is no discipline outside of love.” It is the father who loves his son that disciplines him. Discipline should be borne out of love and this means out of an expression of love. It is important you note here that you don’t discipline children because you are embarrassed at what they do.

Also, there is such a thing as a learning to Love according to verse 2 of that Scripture. This means to me that love can be learnt. It wouldn’t just jump on any one. You need to learn how to truly love anyone the right way, especially your children. 

Many of us believe we express love but we truly don’t do it the right way. What many call love is the selfish kind; one that is borne out of personal desires. This happens when you love someone based on what they do or do not do. This is not the kind of love we have been called to and as a result we need to learn the right way to love. 

Learn to love your children not just because they obey you and are always doing the right thing. Does this mean if they do otherwise, you’d love them any less? This should not be the case for you. 

I believe someone is asking, how can I learn to love truly? Simply by understanding how God does it. 

Get to know God for yourself deeply and you will understand love. Learn to love your children the right way. Invest your time and resources into learning to love adequately. Don’t just live each day as it comes, and parent your children as you deem it fit. But it’s important that you do it by learning how God has commanded us to. Commit to the study of God’s word as you disciple your children for Him.

There’s also a pure motive of love. This is when you do something, thinking it is out of love when it is truly because of something else. In this case of parenting, you need to ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing to your child. 

Many parents need to ask themselves what the motive behind correcting their children is. Is it simply to make yourself look good before other parents or to assume the role of a perfect mother that you obviously aren’t? 

We are all progressing. No one is perfect yet except God. One question we all ought to ask ourselves is why we do what we do. Are you correcting that child’s habit or disturbed by your child’s attitude simply because it’s embarrassing to you or are you doing it out of care and empathy for the child? Are you creating a harsh or unhealthy environment for your children because you are trying to be a perfect parent?

I believe that we would start parenting our children in love when we have sincerely answered these questions. Till I come your way again. Have a great day.

Written by Olabisi O