I’ve not seen a marriage where couples don’t disagree except one of them is either a zombie or a robot. If you have seen one, please let me know. It hurts when our loved ones hurt us, but it  hurts them most when we refuse to let go of their past mistakes.

Forgive your spouse of anything he genuinely confesses and repents of. Don’t keep holding it against him and referring to it at the slightest provocation. It hurts him.

Even if he is not repentant, nothing changes by constant accusations and reminders. Forgiveness is the life wire of any relationship that is built on the love of God. It’s a healthy commandment for you and your loved one.

Referring to past issues will only make your husband keep secrets from you. What a joy to be transparent and vulnerable with your husband, where you both know your weaknesses first-hand and forgive all excesses without exception.

Is there really anything you can’t forgive your spouse of?
Is there anything God won’t forgive you of?
Think about it.

Think about how God forgives.
Like the swipe of an ATM card, God instantly wipes away terrible sins we’ve committed when we confess them.

Imagine God reminding you of your sins each time you wake up or approach Him. That will be so traumatic for you. The result will be depression and possibly its close relative — Death!

Same advice goes to couples who casually throw divorce threats at each other in times of conflict. Haba! At your age? Please stop it!

When you threaten your spouse with a divorce, you have automatically sown the seed of a shaky foundation. Your spouse will no longer trust the sustainability of your union, and one can’t invest much into whatever one doesn’t trust.  

Making your spouse feel insecure might make you feel good, but remember, your words set the pace for your experience.

Also, remember that pride is at the center of these threats. You actually feel you are either better than your spouse or your spouse is privileged to have you. You feel you’re indispensable and should be treasured. Let me inform you that after divorce, your spouse will not die. 

If you don’t really want a divorce, keep quiet!

So what’s the conclusion of the matter?

Conflicts will always arise, but  when it does, delete divorce from your vocabulary as it’s not an option!

Years ago, the Lord said to me, “The solution to marital problems is knowing that marriage is forever.”

Think about those words again. When you have a mindset of divorce not being an option, your mind, by default,  will always look for ways to make things work!

Today, make a decision to quit being in partnership with the devil because he’s the one with the tag, “the accuser of the brethren”

He specializes in accusing God’s children and revisiting past sins. Quit this attitude with your spouse because if you really love him, you don’t want to see him go through mental torture, and continuous feelings of guilt or shame.

You can be married, and still be happy. Yes you can! Cheers to a peaceful and fulfilling marriage.

Written by Coach Tariah