God designed marriage to be beautiful by giving it a single head, the husband. Please understand that your husband answers to God for leading and you answer to him for following. The instruction given by God for a man to lead and the woman to follow keeps us in check and also helps us to understand order.

God’s word is clear. Wives are to submit to our own husbands. Imagine having two heads (authority) in an organization holding the same position, there would be a lot of chaos, inconsistencies in decision making and eventually confusion among subordinates.

This is why you have deputy, assistants etc., because no two persons can hold the same headship position in an organization. Pause to think about it! This is the same framework in the family as well. The children become confused about who to truly follow when there are two heads.

Everyone in the family needs to understand the place of the father in the family. Help your children, as a mum, to understand how things work in the home. Your obedience to these things will give them adequate understanding, and help them know the standard as against the many wrong acts portrayed in the world today because children do what they see.

Here are two signs that show that a wife is not submissive

Taking your husband’s words as a suggestion and refusing to run with it.

A lot of women refuse to take heed to what their husbands have to say to them because they believe they know more than them. Many women even feel like they are more spiritual than their husbands and so they can’t receive any counsel from him. However, one important truth that women needs to understand is that, if God has commanded that you follow that man, it means he has what you need in him, and you don’t have to argue with this truth. A husband is God’s representative representative in the home, and he is to receive instructions from God for his family. This is the ideal.

Being afraid that your husband will make a mistake

This can be done subtly but it shows that you do not trust your husband’s ability to make sound decisions, and he gets the memo indirectly as well. You do this most times by disagreeing with him, especially when he decides to make a critical decision for the home. And at other times, you rub it in his face by reminding him of some of his previous decisions that didn’t end up well or resulted in a negative outcome eventually.

So, as a woman, how can you truly follow?

You can do this by truly following in faith. Remember, without faith it is impossible to please God and this also means that in your family life and daily relations, you can’t follow your husband truly if you don’t do it in faith because this also determines your ability to please God.

In case you are asking what I mean by following in faith. It means trusting God to direct your husband accordingly and guide him into making the right decisions. This way you are walking in faith in the word, and also obeying the Lord’s instruction to you.

You are not taking lightly the word by disobeying it and justifying your disobedience with the thought that your husband always make terrible decisions. Pray for him to make right decisions instead. God’s instructions are to be followed without giving excuses. Talk to God more rather than disagreeing with your husband and making him feel less of a man indirectly.

Remember, submission to your husband has nothing to do with your husband but much more to do with God because it is an instruction by Him. TITUS 2:4-5

Another important way to follow is by showing respect. Can you imagine following your boss at work without truly respecting him? This is called eye service. Respect can be seen; when you honor someone it is perceived. It’s not just about following instructions but doing it wholeheartedly and agreeing with it.

Show and act with respect to your husband. Your show and act of respect towards your husband can be evident in your daily little tasks.

To determine this, ask yourself these questions: Do I listen to him? Do I stop and look at him when he is talking to me or I simply call his bluff? Do I speak about him with respect to others, do I tell others that my husband has terrible decision-making skills? Do I pick on my husband, nag at him? These are some of the ways that show you don’t respect him.

Make a conscious and deliberate decision henceforth, to follow your husband truly by; following in faith and showing and acting with respect. Know that “Whatever you do, (including following your husband), do it as unto the Lord”. (Colossians 3:23). A decision to take to this Scripture and do accordingly will save you so much stress in your relationship with your spouse.

The only exception to following your husband is if he asks you to violate God’s word.

Written by Olabisi O.