For a couple of years now, at least for almost a decade now, I have approached December with a tinge of anxiety, a dose of cynicism,a sense of fear and a lack of faith in the so-called best next year 🙄.
I would ask myself, what will be special about next year that I didn’t experience this year? Why should I begin to pen down unattainable dreams and unrealistic goals when I know Life in all its glory will still happen and one will be left with broken promises, dashed hopes and a wet pillow?
Christmas wasn’t a time to celebrate! Heck, it only reminded me of genuine efforts put in, only to be overwhelmed by a feeling of listlessness and the strength to fight waning by the second.
But then… Ohhh do u think that’s still how I feel? Nah…. We must always have a positive BUT, the altering factor that changes the narrative. Yes! my BUT came when I decided to be affected by the optimism my bestie exuded.
He showed me that my lack of hope will not change anything for me, my lack of faith will not increase my financial status, my cynicism will never open doors of opportunities and my fear will not set me up for greatness. He was consistently grateful, ever thankful and without a shadow of doubt assured of his place in Christ.
There’s a saying that if you have no brains borrow one. So I did. I borrowed his zest and zeal, I drew strength from his faith. I soaked myself in the literature of pacesetters and pathfinders I once dreamed of being like, and I saw myself changing.
I unlearned so much hogwash and my existential and absurdist beliefs began to give way to a constant slogan ingrained in my subconscious :’I’m made for more ‘. I got myself a vision board and dared to dream… Nobody has been hurt for desiring a better life so why not me? I asked myself.
It didn’t matter that everyday I boarded keke to work. And even as the crazy drivers battled with their competitors on the bad roads, I would see myself in my mind’s eye walk across the stage to claim my award and deliver my award speech.
Yes o, that’s the realm I operate from now. I am fighting the battle of the mind and I’m constantly winning. Today, I’m better equipped to be hopeful and full of faith about tomorrow because I have decided to let go and let God.
I strongly believe that because Jesus lives, I have no fear of what tomorrow brings and I wake up each day staying positive and super grateful that I am here at such a time as this to share the beauty of my life with the world. Isn’t it great to be alive!!!! Yaasss!!!! Queen it is great to be alive!!!
So cheer up sugar, you are not where you used to be, you may not be exactly where you want to be but you have moved, either with baby steps, toddler moves or giant strides. Best believe that You will not Play Small on The World’s Stage.
Hugs and Kisses sugar till we meet again xoxo
Written by Lady D