I struggled a little to come up with a title for this because in this era, women can literally have it all. A lot of us can now have great careers and businesses while working from home, hence, my original title did not work. So, here goes…
Recently, I saw a post on the streets of social media on children raised by stay-at-home mothers vs children raised by working mothers.
First, I prefer not to use the term “housewife”, I’d rather use “stay-at-home mum”. Scrolling through the comments, it was not surprising that emotions ran high.
We often assume that being in the same space with a child equates to nurturing. This is a distraction and most times we forget what is important in our bid to sound intelligent or correct.
Studying the book of Daniel from a parenting perspective awakened something in me. Someone/people raised the boy, Daniel. It would have taken a A LOT of intentionality to raise a child like him.
Here is a Bible passage showing some of the criteria set by the King of Babylon for recruiting the young people that would serve at his palace.
“Children in whom was no blemish, but well favoured, and skilful in all wisdom, and cunning in knowledge, and understanding science, and such as had ability in them to stand in the king’s palace, and whom they might teach the learning and the tongue of the Chaldeans.” Daniel 1:4 KJV
Spending 24hrs everyday with your children does not mean you would raise them well. Not when we are often quick to “distract” them with a screen to make up for our own distractions. Spending time with your children is NOT the same as being in the same space with them. Some children never get to connect with their parents, stay-at-home or not!
Being intentional means investing in raising your children. Be PRESENT when you are with them. I am also guilty of getting distracted with my devices and what not when I should be spending time with my boys. It is not something to be proud of. In this world of technology and social media, there are just too many distractions, and we need EXTRA discipline to focus on the important things.
We should prioritize paying attention to our own “BEING” because we must first mirror the qualities we want to see in our children. We are literally handing them a template of our own habits and behaviours.
A few times, I have been asked how we can get children to enjoy reading. The same rule applies, get into the habit of reading. This applies to EVERYTHING. To raise productive children, you must be an example of what it means to ‘redeem the time’.
Society puts a lot of pressure on us, and many times women feel guilty of their choices and realities. We all have what it takes to raise God’s Generals, Stay at home or not!
Written by Oge Umeokafor